Funny Christmas Jokes: Best Christmas Jokes For Kids, Knock Knock Jokes, Short Tree Jokes

Happy New year 2017 Wishes: Funny Christmas Jokes, Best Christmas Jokes For Kids, Children, And Friends: Without fun, you can’t enjoy any festival in a real way. So, here we are sharing best funny Christmas Jokes collection for you. Becuase Jokes about Christmas is a good thing to share with your friends, family, and best ones.

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In few countries, On every December 24th, people celebrate this festival on Christmas Eve and on next day, they exchange gifts with each other, get together, and have a Christmas meal with their friends, and family. But in most of the world, all the Christians celebrate this festival on 25th. You can also make a Funny greeting card with these best Christmas Jokes.

funny christmas jokes

Funny Christmas jokes

Funny Christmas Jokes – Best Christmas Jokes For Kids Children

There is also a myth about this festival on celebrating it as the birth of Lord Jesus, as Christ’s birth date is unknown for the world. Christmas on December 25 was announced by the Western Christian Church in the early-to-mid of the 4th century, and after some time which was also adopted in the East of the world.

There will be no Christmas anymore. I told Santa that you have been good the whole year. He died of laughter.

What kind of music do elves like best when he has to greet?

Answer: “Wrap” music!

Christmas Jokes

Christmas Jokes

Why did the Christmas cake go to the police station? Because over the last few days it had been beaten, whipped, cut, sliced and rough handled.

What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle.

What do you call a snowman in the tropics?
Lost.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

Apart from ornaments what you can use to decorate the Christmas tree? Answer: Waster eggs.

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

Christmas Tree Jokes

christmas jokes for kids

Christmas jokes for kids

Funny how the year you stop believing in Santa is roughly the year you start getting socks and clothes for Christmas.

good christmas jokes

Good Christmas jokes

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?

Twerk!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?

Arthur

Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?

Merry Christmas Jokes

Merry Christmas Jokes

What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?
Auld Fang Syne

christmas jokes kids

Christmas jokes kids

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!

kids christmas jokes

Kids Christmas jokes

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

jokes for christmas

Jokes for Christmas

christmas kids jokes

Christmas kids jokes

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

best christmas jokes

Best Christmas jokes

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

children's christmas jokes

Children’s Christmas jokes

Christmas Jokes Dirty – Rude Bad Hilarious Christmas Jokes

One Christmas, my grandfather, gave me a box of broken glass. He gave my brother a box of Band-Aids and said, “You two share.”

How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed!

bad christmas jokes

Bad Christmas jokes

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The Elf-abet!

jokes about christmas

Jokes about Christmas

What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my self!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

jokes for christmas

Jokes for Christmas

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!

Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!

Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!

short christmas jokes

Short Christmas jokes

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle!

What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that’s deep pan, crisp and even!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!

dirty christmas jokes

Dirty Christmas jokes

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!

bad christmas jokes

Bad Christmas jokes

I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbed rabbit?
Mistle-toad!

Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas?
Noël Coward!

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you just can’t beat it!

How do you know if Santa is a werewolf?
He has Santa claws!

 

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me, and we’ll go places!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer!

What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show!

What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!

Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in the hospital?
Because he has private elf care!

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weight in a manger!

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered!

Source: telegraph.co.uk

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